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« on: February 27, 2008, 09:41:46 PM »
Thank you Henry for posting Dad's obituary. We appreciate all the condolences we've received from the Fairfax community.
I'll post the words of remembrance I delivered at the funeral here for posterity's sake. Here they are below.
Hugh Fitzgerald 1931-2008
We are pleased that you have joined us today to bid farewell to our father, Hugh Fitzgerald. Since Dad hated to waste any time, I will try to be brief. Who can forget the trips to Florida where Dad and the family would tour the entire state in two weeks, spending 30 seconds at each attraction. (Oh wait, I guess I could, as I always got to stay home and watch the cows. That’s a subject for future counseling sessions.) The ferry boat attendants at Liberty Island were in awe as Dad and the family were the only ones ever to tour the Statue of Liberty and return on the same boat that brought them. In later years, as Dr. John’s Donna remembers, Dad would call to time his arrival for appointments to minimize his wait time.
As we were sitting around the table talking and eating (one of our family’s favorite phrases) the other night, we were reminiscing about the man we knew as Dad, and you may have known as Hughie, or Uncle Hughie.
Dad grew up on the farm with his dad and siblings as his teacher. At Winooski High School he was considered big man on campus because he had a truck to deliver the milk cans to the Uncle John’s creamery before school each day. Dad met Mom through Aunt Joan, who was Mom’s classmate in nursing school. She invited Mom down to the farm for dinner, and after sitting around, talking and eating, a courtship ensued. They were married on August 30, 1958 here at St. Stephens and moved to Malletts Bay Avenue to start our family. After having 3 kids in a little over 3 years in a two bedroom apartment, it did not take too long to decide to build a house on the farm for his growing family. They bought a bit of land and started building. Dad had learned to squeeze a dollar from his father. Grandpa and Dad would straighten bent nails rather then throw then away in the building the house we would call home. Material was scavenged from old buildings coming down around town.
Dad’s strongest value was his commitment to family and friends. He would unfailingly attend the family reunion every year. As we would be finishing up unloading hay at 10 pm on a haying day, he’d say “let’s get over to Tom’s, he has hay out and it’s gonna rain.” He was very social as well. Mom reminisces that she hurried to get the housework done early one day so that she could help him paint the kitchen. When it was time to start painting, Dad went out to see friends around town. As kids, we spent hours in the car after Mass on Sunday as he would stop by friends and relatives to socialize. After what seemed like hours in the car, we would complain to him about it, and he would ignore us until he was ready to go. Luckily for my children, I am nothing like my Dad.
He was also remarkably intelligent, and even worse, he knew it! One of his favorite sayings was, “I was only wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken” He had a knack for fixing anything mechanical. While reminiscing the other night we had a difficult time to find any one incident about his incredible talent in fixing things because repairing or maintenance was such an integral part of who he was that it is hard to separate any one incident from a whole lifetime. Hugh knew where every screw, bolt nut and wrench was or should be located on the farm. One of his jobs during the 70’s was as a teacher for tractor mechanics. He loved to teach, and would challenge us when we asked questions by asking “Well, how do you think you should do that? Of course, he knew the answer, but by his challenge he prepared us for the time when he wouldn’t be able to give us the answers.
Dad didn’t have many hobbies, he spent his time either working on the dairy farm, or after that, running the beef farm and working for other people, . Our times together were handing him tools and helping him fix things. And you’d better know the difference between a ¾ open end or a 5/8 socket with a ratchet when he asked. He taught us to work a problem through, start at the source of the power and work from there.
When spouses started joining the family, Dad took particular delight in initiating them. My wife Karen remembers her first time meeting Dad, something about being coaxed to eat a hot pepper that Sam Mazza had grown. It’s not that hot, he said. Being the polite Rhode Islander that she was, she took a big bite! How hot was that, dear? Even our newest contestant, Maggie’s husband Karl, was initiated by Dad having him clean the scale out of the toilet. That must have impressed Karl, because he came back for more by asking Dad for Maggie’s hand. In what we think was a final warning, Dad responded, “I guess that would be OK.”
Unfortunately, the ravages of his lung and heart problems took a toll over the past few years, and Dad was unable to be as social and confident as the Dad of our youth. But he never lost the love for the love of his life, Barbara. Mom spent the last 6 weeks either in the hospital or rehab, first for pneumonia, and then for skin graft surgery. But they were on the phone several times a day, and Mom has a fist full of tracphone cards to prove it. Dad went into the hospital and was on a respirator. Last Tuesday, I was visiting him and he tried to tell me something. I got him a piece of paper and a Sharpie to write with. He wrote the letters S, T, and a very tiny O. So I guessed “Stove” as they had been talking about getting Mom a new stove. No, he shook his head. He filled in the O. Oh, Saint, I said. Yes, he nodded. Then he wrote V A L “St. Valentine Valentines Day I guessed. Right. OK Dad, but what do I get her? C H O C A L E T S. Chocolates! OK, I’ll get you some chocolates to give to her. And last Thursday, Mom got her last and best Valentines present from Dad. The ICU nurses said they had never seen a patient in the ICU get a present for their loved one on Valentine’s Day. Dad was their favorite from then on.
In his final days, Dad took great strength from his faith. With the help of Fr. Rome, he took confession and the last rites, and a great burden seemed to have been lifted from him. He was able to make the decision to refuse treatment, and had the opportunity to say goodbye to his family. He was smiling and joking with us on Friday night. The confident and social man came back on his last days. He showed his love for his wife and family. The last week will be one which I will always cherish. I only pray that when my time comes, I can have the courage and the love that he showed during his last days.
There are many people who showed kindness to Dad over the past few years, and I want to take a minute to thank them for all of their efforts. We thank Dr. John and Donna for their kindness and patience with Dad through the years. We thank Harry Sterling for the time and work he has done with Dad and want to thank him for being such a good neighbor. Marc Bouffard and his dad have done great work keeping the farm in farming for the past few years. We especially want to thank Pam Brigante for the time she spent with Mom and Dad as well as her many Costco Pharmacy trips. We are so thankful that Dad had you in his life.
We will now take Dad on his final journey, passing by Pine Island one last time. We’ll pause there for a moment, and give Dad one final look at the place that he loved and called home. We know that he is in heaven, with Grandpa and Grandma, Corrine, Kathryn, Mary Lou, Joan, Jean, Bill, Charlie, and Alice and all his other relatives and friends. As his grandson Devin said, he’s up there raking hay and eating pie. And you know, that’s not a bad way to spend eternity. Godspeed, Dad. We’ll miss you.
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